It Wasn't Me
by Pikajenn
Summary: Yes, this story is based on a song. Rated T because a teenaged Ash gets caught cheating on Misty. Will Ash blame Ritchie? More than likely...


Heeeey Kids!! It's Pikajenn with another Songfic/Song Parody. It's my first Parody and I hope you like it! When I first heard this song, I thought it sucked, but that's 'cause I was travelling home from Atlanta and listening to this song several times through five states at various intervals and wars against eighties and country music got me quickly sick of IT WASN'T ME. But alas, I digress. Here's **Shaggy** and **It Wasn't Me**. Starring....in no particular order....

Ash: 21  
Brock: 25  
Misty: 22  
May: 25  
Ritchie: 21

Our tale begins in a small café in Pallet Town. It is somewhat crowded as our hero, Ash Ketchum, steps in the door. His hair is messier than usual, lacking the famous League cap. His black shirt is tucked sloppily into his jeans and his hiking boots are laced haphazardly, threatening to trip him.Looking around for someone, Ash quickly spots his friend Brock sitting in a booth in the back corner of the café. He walks quickly to Brock, scanning the crowded room as he goes, and with a quick nod at Brock, sits down and says...

Ash: Yo man  
Brock: Yo   
Ash: Open up man  
Brock: What do you want man?   
Ash: My girl just caught me   
Brock: You let her catch you?   
Ash: I don't know how I let this happen   
Brock: With who?   
Ash: The girl next door, you know?

"Uh, no, I don't know who you live next to, Ash."

Ash sighs, "It was May Oak, Gary's sister." 

Brock: Man...   
Ash: I don't know what to do   
Brock: Say it wasn't you

"Say it wasn't me? But who then?"

At that moment, Ritchie walks in the door with a wave at Ash and Brock. He orders something at the counter. He, along with several other trainers, are in Pallet for a Pokémon Trainers Competition.

"Say it was Ritchie!!"

"What about me?" Ritchie looks astonishingly like Ash but with blond hair and green eyes.

"Oh nothing," Ash replies.

"Ash got into some...ah..trouble and I told him to say that it wasn't him." Brock finishes.

"Yeah, that's what I would do to." Ritchie smiles.

"Hmm..." Ash says.

"Tell me what happened, maybe I can clear things up too." Ritchie says.

Ash: Alright.   
  
Ash: Misty came in and she caught me red-handed  
Creeping with the girl next door   
Picture this we were both butt-naked   
Banging on the bathroom floor   
How could I forget   
That I had given her an extra key   
All this time she was standing there   
She never took her eyes off me

"Wow," Ritchie looks impressed and relieved at the same time. "I'm sure glad it wasn't me! If Gary found out, boy, you better be glad it was just Misty that found you guys like that!"

Brock smiles and thinks, _Poor, poor naive guy. If he were only a little more intelligent, I may have felt bad about setting him up._

  
Brock: How you can grant the woman access to your villa   
Trespasser and a witness while you cling on your pillow   
You better watch your back before she turn into a killer  
Best for you and the situation not to call the beaner  
To be a true player you have to know how to play  
If she say you're not, convince her say you're gay.

"But I'm not gay Brock. Hasn't what I just told you sunk in yet?"

Ritchie snickers as Brock says, "Keep quiet, Ash, and let me finish!"

Brock clears his throat and continues. 

Brock: Never admit to a word when she say makes a claim   
And you tell her baby no way.

"Hey and don't forget that saying, The baby isn't mine, always works." Ritchie says.

Brock and Ash just stare at him and Ritchie flushes, "Well, it worked for me."  
  
Ash: But she caught me on the counter   
Ritchie: (It wasn't me)   
Ash: Saw me banging on the sofa   
Ritchie: (It wasn't me)  
Ash: I even had her in the shower   
Ritchie: (It wasn't me)  
Ash: She even caught me on camera   
Ritchie: (It wasn't me)   
Ash: She saw the marks on my shoulder  
Ritchie: (It wasn't me)   
Ash: Heard the words that I told her   
Ritchie: (It wasn't me)   
Ash: Heard the screams getting louder  
Ritchie: (It wasn't me)  
Ash: She stayed until it was over   
  
Ash: Misty came in and she caught me red-handed  
Creeping with the girl next door   
Picture this we were both butt-naked   
Banging on the bathroom floor   
How could I forget   
That I had given her an extra key   
All this time she was standing there   
She never took her eyes off me

"You just better hope that no one gets their hands on that film footage, Ash! Though it would only make it on a show like, _When Misty Attacks--Season 2_." Ritchie laughs hillariously at his own joke.

_I'm feeling better with everything he says,_ Ash thinks to himself as he continues his tale.

I had tried to keep her from what she was about to see   
Why should she believe me when I told her it wasn't me

"How would she believe what I'd tell her? That it wasn't me?" Ash says, worried.

"It's okay, Ash. Just let Master B-rock take care of it all for you! I have many skills!" 

Brock: Make sure she knows it's not you and lead her on   
Da right prefix whenever you should see her make da giggolo flex   
As funny as it be by you, it not that complex   
Seein' is believin' so you better change your specs   
You know she not gonna be worrying bout things from the past  
Hardly recollecting and then she'll go to noontime mass   
Your answer: go over there but if she pack a gun   
You know you better run fast 

"Yeah, her Starmie has a strong Water Gun attack." Ash ponders, "But it doesn't feel right to lie to her like this."

Brock sighs, "Just say, repeat after me, IT-WASN'T-ME!"

Ash: But she caught me on the counter   
Ritchie: (It wasn't me)   
Ash: Saw me banging on the sofa   
Ritchie: (It wasn't me)  
Ash: I even had her in the shower   
Ritchie: (It wasn't me)  
Ash: She even caught me on camera   
Ritchie: (It wasn't me)   
Ash: She saw the marks on my shoulder  
Ritchie: (It wasn't me)   
Ash: Heard the words that I told her   
Ritchie: (It wasn't me)   
Ash: Heard the screams getting louder  
Ritchie: (It wasn't me)  
Ash: She stayed until it was over   
  
Ash: Misty came in and she caught me red-handed  
Creeping with the girl next door   
Picture this we were both butt-naked   
Banging on the bathroom floor   
How could I forget   
That I had given her an extra key   
All this time she was standing there   
She never took her eyes off me

"I can't do this! I can't lie to Misty, I love her too much." Ash says firmly, standing up.

"But Ash, think of it! She'll pound you into oblivion and then let her Pokémon deal with you! After she's through with you you'll be history! We could give you all the potions in the world and you'd still hurt for millenia to come!" Brock grabs Ash's arm, but Ash breaks free.

"Listen good you two," Ash says... 

Ash: Gonna tell her that I'm sorry for the pain that I've caused   
I've been listenin' to your reasonin'   
It makes no sense at all   
We should tell her that I'm sorry for the pain that I've caused   
You may think that you're a player   
But you're completely lost 

"Well if that's what you want to do, but I'm not apologizing for giving you my awesome advice." Brock waves at Ash. "Good luck, Ash! Oh, wait! How about one more round before you get your ass kicked? I mean, before you leave?"

"Aiight!"

All: Misty came in and she caught me red-handed  
Creeping with the girl next door   
Picture this we were both butt-naked   
Banging on the bathroom floor   
How could I forget   
That I had given her an extra key   
All this time she was standing there   
She never took her eyes off me.

The applause is loud throughout the café and Ash blushes.

"Well, it's not just me and Ritchie that know now, Ash. You'd better fess up to Misty and hope that Gary doesn't find out, before one of these guys tells the two for you!"

"Thanks Brock! I knew you'd know what to do!" Ash says as he walks out of the café, Ritchie, and several requests for an encore, trailing behind him.

"But Ash, it really wasn't me that did you-know-what with May Oak!" Ritchie whines.

Ash turns around, "I know, but that's not what I told Gary!"

"WHAT???!!!"

From behind, there is sudden hollering as Gary rounds the corner riding his Arcanine, a furious look on his face. Ritchie pales and looks at his Pokéballs containing his Charmander, Pikachu, and recent addition of a Squirtle, and runs for the hills.

"Just remember to tell him it wasn't you!"

* * *

Yes, I know. Pikajenn, that was so sad. How could you write this!! Please, don't do this to anymore of my favorite songs...Blah, blah, blah. I get that from my sister all the time. I'm sorry, I heard that song and thought the guy that's the "star" of this song sounded waaaay to young to be doing you-know-what, but oh well, you know how celebrities are...


End file.
